


Your Weakness Is Our Strength

by Mom_Friend



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Depression/ Cutting, Fluff, Humanstuck, John is a sexually-confused idiot and that's why we love him, M/M, Multi, ancestors are parents, dancestors are siblings, first fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:12:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Friend/pseuds/Mom_Friend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and karkat have been 'Best Bros' (as John calls it) since 6th grade. They are now entering their second year of high school. They are hella nervous. But, neither John nor Karkat is worried because they have each other. They know everything about the other. At least...that's what john thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Legos Hurt Like A Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm sorry if it's shit! It's my first one. If you liked it please leave kudos and comments...if you want...maybe...please? And if you have any constructive criticism i adore that too! I hope you enjoy the eventual *cough cough* SMUTTTTT *cough cough*. Now read my young ones, reaaaaaad!

You are John Egbert and you are currently walking to your best bro, Karkat Vantas's house to pick him up for the first day of school. It is currently -let me check- six fifteen and you are /sure/ Karkat will not only be asleep, but a bitch to wake up. Hey, it's not your fault! He's the one who asked to get to school early. You sigh, taking a swig of one of the two To-Go mugs of coffee. "He better be grateful I brought him this." You grumble. You too, are NOT a morning person. Ever since the beginning of 7th grade, whenever you so much as thought of him, it made you and your organs warm and fuzzy like a fat-ass cat. You assume its obviously a bro-related feeling, god, you are so smart!

You walk in his front yard, past the well-tended vegetable garden and peach tree you two used to always steal from. Away from the old swing-set we would play on while talking about how much Lego's hurt like a bitch when you stepped on them. Walking onto the front porch, you knock lightly and let yourself in. Everyone in the house is asleep, including Karkat. "Damn it! I told him to set the alarm! It better not be like this every day." You think, making your way up the stairs and past two bedrooms and a bathroom to the last door on the left. The door creaks open, after entering, you shut the door behind you and walk up to Karkat.

You sit on his bed next to his curled-up body and look at his features. Two eyelids crowded with eyelashes. bushy, caterpillar-like eyebrows that you found adorable (in a totally bro-y way). a cute button nose. plump, normally-scowling, lips- the lower lip is pushed out, like he's doing his best not to smile. And a sprinkling of freckles, all on his dusky, dark skin. Wait, what are you thinking about? Focus, John, Focus! You /need/ to wake him up! His coffee will get cold!

First, you try gently nudging him. You know well and good nothing will happen, but you try it anyway. He shifts a bit, trying to bat your hand. "Stmmmfft jouhhhh, iluooffffoouuuuh." He slurs, curling closer to you. His hands brush your hip and you shiver. You have a good idea and you're glad your bro-senses went off.

"Kaaaarkaaat, if you don't get up, I'm going to ticklllllle yoooou!" You trill into his ear. Karkat sits up so fast your unmanageable hair blows back.  
\--

You are Karkat Vantas and you are having a weird dream. In it, your best friend and crush, John Egbert, is on the floor, crying. Not only is he crying but there are cuts all over him, which are dripping bright, candy red blood. It scares the shit out of you. "No-one will ever love me! I should just die!" You are quite frankly confused because what he just said is not only bullshit, but has never even crossed the single braincell he calls a mind. You run up to him and he tries to gently push your arm away. You quickly respond back,

"Stop! John, I love you!!" He look down at you and you pull him into a hug on the ground. He hugs you back and all the cuts magic-fucking-ly disappear. He whispers in your ear,

"Kaaaaarkkaaaat, if you don't get up, I'm going to ticklllllle yoouuuuuu!" As and expert of romance after watching so many movies you can safely say two things. One, well...that escalated quickly. And two, WHAT IN ALL OF FUCKING HELL, HEAVEN, ALTERNATE UNIVERSES, WET-AS-FUCK DREAMS, AND EARTH?!?!

Suddenly you're awake. And you are about to yell someone's ass off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That is a thing that just happened! The next few will be coming out in the next few days until I get a regular upload day. Thank you for reading!! ^_^


	2. 3 Sugars, Milk, Waffles, and a Possible Hearing Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, Karkat's awake... Shit... Also some waffles make a guest appearance! Briefly, like, hella briefly. You have to read super-slow to catch them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay you guys, I was gonna upload a second chapter last night but, sleep called me. Did you know it has a sexy voice? Yeah... So basically I fell asleep and all my progress was erased. Anyway, thanks so much for all the kudos, it means a lot to a newbie like me! Oh, and I just want to say, when I talk about other ethnicity I mean no disrespect. I myself am Latino so I'm speaking from experience. Just wanted to say that! Now I'll let you read so you can go to the better stuff! ([^]w[^])  
> PS- I love it when people comment, no matter what they say. So, y'know... (:B

"Oh shit..." You think. You are one terrified motherfucker. And Karkat's face... Think of an explanation, QUICKKKKK!  
\--

You are Karkat Vantas and you are currently doing your best to *not* start screaming at the top of your lungs. The only reason you aren't is because this house is filled with psycho Latinos that adore a little thing called 'sleep'. Oh hell no. You're not going to open that can of crazy fucknuts. "John *FUCKING* Egbert," You hiss. "You had better have a good goddamn explanation for the idiotic dribble that just came out of your mouth." You give him a glare that we like to call, "HOLY SHITTING, PILLOW-FUCKING, GLOBE-FONDLING, DOUCHECAKES ON A BALOON. I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE DONT HURT ME...  
MAKER" He looks like a frightened hamster. Perfect.

After much seething and barely-contained rage (you like your fucking sleep too bitch!) you let him speak. "Jeez Karkat! You were the one who made me promise to get you to school before seven thirty! And you were the one who gave me the idea too! You had it coming bro." John started to defend himself. But, instead of talking you down it pissed you right the hell off again.

"Had it coming? HAD IT COMING??" You don't even care that you're being loud anymore. "I HAD NO SUCH FUCKING THING COMING YOU DICK-PARADE. WHAT THE HELL? AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I GAVE YOU THAT IDIOTIC COCK-SUCKING IDEA? I DON'T EXPLICITLY REMEMBER SAYING, 'oh hey gee John! If I'm still sleeping when the sun is off banging the stars threaten me with rape, okay?' YEAH, THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED. AND JUST FOR FUTURE REFERENCE YOU MOLDY TOWEL WAD, I SAID I WANTED TO BE THERE EARLY, NOT BEFORE THE SWEATY ASS-CRACK OF SOME DIPSHIT NAMED DAWN." As you conclude your rant, you start to undress. John sits on your bed in a daze, scared fuckless.  
\--

John's Sidenote Corner==> You are not scared shitless or fuckless or whatever, you're just trying to use your 'one braincell' as Karkat would call it. Just wanted to clarify that. Also, take that writer! Fucking fourth-wall break x2. Anyway. That was a tangent from you.

"Karkat, tickling doesn't equate to rape." You state matter-of-factly. "It might as well be!" Karkat huffs in response. Well someone's a crabby-pants. Thinking about it, if he had started ranting like that back when we were kids, I probably would have though he meant it. Oh yeah, butt-hurt city limits. And past me would have been the mayor! But now you know that Karkat just encrypts his feelings through angry rants instead of saying how he feels! It's actually really adorable!(in a completely heterosexual way of course.)

You look at his changing figure. Though he is shorter than you he's really lean and fit, but he has a bunch of really weird scars all over his body. Gosh, he really needs to be more carful when he plays Soccer. And, though you have told him multiple times that briefs are the life(ever since you had the house to yourself that one time, you can never slide in socks the same way again.) he continues to wear his funny crab boxers. They're really cute too. And kinda sex- Oh god, you must be half asleep! You need more coffee!

Finally, you two make your way downstairs. It looks like you two lucked out. You love the Vantases and Miss Lejion with her children, but there as a pretty much member of the family, you can safely tell each and every person in the world that they would kill if they had a good enough reason... And sleep was at the top of their reasons list. Walking into the kitchen Karkat grabbed two waffles from the freezer and put them in his toaster oven. A few minutes later we have our almost-gone waffles, To-Go cups of Karkitty Submission Juice A.K.A. Coffee with three sugars and milk, bad-ass shades, and a possible hearing aid from Karkat's shouting. High School, here we come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's more than last time! Next chapter they might finally actually make it to fucking school! I seriously am loving writing this so far so I just hope you are loving reading it right back!! I promise shit will start to fly up towards the fan soon. Thank you so much!! The next chapter will probably come out tomorrow. Have a great day/ afternoon/ morning/ night!! (:B  
> PS- I like talking to people. So please?


	3. In Which Karkat Stands Around With Dickwads Like An Inflamed Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well they finally made it to school! :D fluff, depression, and hard-to-pronounce meals. Enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay you guys. I am so fucking sorry this took so long! I have no excuse other than life and bullshit which equals school, after school activities, and new Hells of laziness. Anyways, enjoy the longest chapter so far! And I have decided on Sunday nights as my update day just to let you know. Alright! That's it! Have fun!!~ PS- enjoy the hinted-at later smut :33

After much chatting and other ridiculous bullshit, you and John arrive at your stupid-ass school, Skaia High. You walk through the double doors and start heading to the office. It was only seven fifteen, but you were already fearing the start of your school year. Well, if John was in more of his classes it'd be better, but those peop-NO STOP IT KARKAT. JUST THINK ABOUT YOUR CRUSH OR SOMETHING. Whenever you think about it, you start to want to... Never mind. Make a smarmy remark instead. "Oh great! It's feels soooo fucking *good* to be back. Dammit, my brain already hurts like a bitch."

"Heheh, come on Karkitty! Don't be like thatttt!" John tries to cheer you up. It might have actually worked! If he hadn't used that insufferable nick-name. Well, not so much insufferable as it makes you blush... You glare at him.

"I am not, nor have I ever been a cat. And fuck you for saying such a stupid thing. When have I ever /not/ been like this?" He stares at you, his pranking smile appearing on his face. Now contrary to this morning, it's your turn to be scared shitless.

"Oh really, what about all those times in your room?" His breath tickles your strangely-pointed left ear. "Or when you're sleepy? You seem pretty calm then. Just like a lazy cat." He's wiggling his damn eyebrows, you just know it. You can't see that pillow-fucker but you just know he's wiggling those thick but weirdly -and admittedly cute- feminine eyebrows. "Could you possibly be," he drops his his voice to a barely audible whisper. "A cat with all da hawts (yeah, that's the way he said it.) for me?" Suddenly you can't breath. Your heart is beating hard enough to make you think that you're running a 3 minute mile. You're head is getting cloudy. "OH GOD. HE KNOWS!!!!" is all you can think. Your stomach is in so much pain you feel genuinely bad for all the girls in the world. You can't control your thoughts, but suddenly you hear your voice,  
"W-well actually I-"  
"Relax dude! I was just messing with you!!" Your heart starts sinking to the bottom of your scarred soul, "After all! No homo, am I right?" Thud. There it goes. It fractures just a little bit more each time that happens. The 'it' we're talking about being your shittily Elmer-Glued heart.

"Y-yeah! No homo! Hahahaha! Come on John, who do you think I am?" You laugh way too loudly and the few people that are in the hallway at seven fifteen try to avoid eye contact with you. Good. But soon enough they won't be ignoring you. In fact, you will want them to leave you alone. John doesn't know this and you don't plan on telling him. So far, you have managed to somehow avoid /them/ finding out he's your best friend *and* crush. Damn, that would be Christmas for them. You don't want John to get involved it or *god forbid* hurt.

You arrive at the office and creak the blue, plastic door open. "Name, year, and student I.D." The secretary looked up at us with blood-shot eyes and "pearly pink" on her teeth. Normally, she would be cute but not in this situation. You're pretty sure you just found someone who's even less of a morning person than you!

"Karkat Vantas. Second year. 612216." You repeated monotonously. You had practiced in the mirror for twenty minutes just in case there's a chance we have to stand up and say it out loud. You are not about to be that one asshole who couldn't repeat it without stuttering. John looks at you curiously but says nothing. She hands you your paper and you begin looking at it with distaste while John goes through the same process. "this will all be shit. Well, maybe not Home Ec." Is the only thing that comes out of your mind's mouth.

"Hey Karkat! Let me see yours!!" John looked at you expectantly. Sighing, you handed the flimsy sheet of paper to him. You were already prepared to be disappointed. You two never had more that two classes together. Suddenly, you're being dipped like a girl during the tango.

"AUGHH JOHN! WHAT THE FU- FLYING REFRIGERATOR?!" You almost cuss before you feel those ever-watching bloodshot eyes start staring into your soul. "What the flying refrigerator?" You say hiss in a much softer voice. But damn, whatever it is must be important because he could win a national jump-roping competition. You swear, sometimes it looks like he's just floating.  
"KARKAT, KARKAT, KARKAT, KARRRRRRKAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!KARKAT WE HAVE ALMOST ALL THE SAME CLASSES!!!!!!!" Oh my fucking god. This is hella sweet. And... Oh no... He's going to notice... Well, maybe he won't notice. It's usually just ostracism during classes.

You leave the class to visit the seven out of eight classes you have together. Your eyes are wide open, still trying to get over the shock of being in almost all the same classes as your best buddy and crush! It's just too strange. You will have to talk to and/or give a present to Sollux if he was the one who did this. You arrive at your first class, Honors Math. Fucking wonderful. If Gamzee were here he'd say something like- "Hey best bro, seeing you here is an all up and motherfucking miracle! Do you have first-hour math too?" Well shit.

"Oh my god. Not /you/ again!" This is how you have greeted your ex-best friend ever since you were kids. You're still friends, but stuff happened. He snapped and you couldn't protect him nor the recipient. After that you had always felt guilty about it around him until he said he couldn't be around you anymore. That was 5th grade.

"What's up losers? And John, my main man! How was your summer bro?" Great. Is this a fucking douchedumpling party? The next fuckass (and you're pretty sure that's what he want to do to John, making your bro-rival relationship with him even stronger.) that enters the picture is Dave. And well, fuck him.

"Dave! How are you bro? Aw, geez its so good to see you again! How was your summer? What did you do? Oh boy, are you in first-period math too?" John starts bombarding him with questions. But Dave didn't seem to mind one bit. That stoic-lipped bitch. Heh, stoic-lipped bitch. I'll have to remember that one. In any case, you weren't planning on standing around with a bunch of dickweeds in front of a classroom doorway like an inflamed asshole.

"Well, hasn't this been an exciting little chat? Oh would you look at that? It's a quarter past fuck you, we really need to get going!" Jealous? You? Psshhhhhh, no way! Well... Maybe... A little... SHUT UP!

"Awwww, is short, little Karkles suffering from PMS? Maybe if I put down some ill beats you'd feel better!" Oh shit, you have to run before you get dragged into an even bigger mess- never mind. You're already fucked.

"H-hey guys! Did I hear some sick fires coming from Dave?" Oh look. More people. Wonderful. Tavros, Gamzee's wheelchair-bound boyfriend, rolls onto the scene.

"Awwww, bro! You're just in time for my sick fires!" Dave fistbumps Tavros. The wheelchair bound boy starts beatboxing for dave. And Dave shows his 'cool' appreciation by dropping his "sick skillz". Gamzee starts an interpretive dance or some shit- he looks like a goddamn flower! And John is just standing with a hella derpy vacant look on his face. You are 13,000% done.

"C'mone John we are leaving!" You grab his arm and begin the process of booking it.

"But Karkat! We should stay-" John try's his very best to stop you but you aren't having it one bit. You shove a handful of mints in his mouth to which you're pretty sure he just choked on and get the fuck out of there.

You are still running when the bell rings. Damn, you wasted that much time with those cuntchaffers? You abruptly stop and remove your fingers from john's lips. "God Karkat, that wasn't pleasant at all! I don't care what you say, those mints really do taste like vomit."

"Pfft, whatever bitchface."

You make it back to Honors Math just before the bell rings. Sighing and slumping in your seat you get ready for the cuntgoggling shitfest that is the first day of school. Today, all the teachers will be discussing is themselves. Tomorrow, they will force us to share things about ourselves, and after that, hell.

Instead, you block out the world and look at John. Damn, how is it possible to be dorky AND sexy at the same time? First, you look at the unnaturally blue eyes focused on the teacher. Loyally protecting the radioactive pools of water are thick-rimmed glasses with a black trim. Going upwards you study his fine, wild cobalt hair with the multitude of rebellious cowlicks. You begin to genuinely smile and then cover your mouth because that would be a big, blinky, Vegas sign saying, "HE *DOES* IN FACT HAVE FEELINGS FOR THIS HUNKY STUDMUFFIN!!!" And you refuse to let that shit take place. Instead, you looks at his small, sharp nose. God he's cute. Suddenly, you're trembling, this may or may not have anything to do with the fact you looked directly below his nose to the most attractive pair of lips your eyes have been blessed with the image of in your entire life. Soft and a bit on the thinner side, they look soft and dry- oh god. He just licked his now wet-and-shiny lips. Your face lights up and this time you have every right to feel arousal. Just not right now. So you quickly look away at the clock and realize that you have been lost in thought looking at John's fair face for five periods.

FIVE. You don't even REMEBER conversing with him or moving classes but you sure as hell have. This means you successfully managed to go through, Math, English, P.E., Science, and are currently in Computers and Technology without hearing a single word from a teacher. How is that even fucking possible? You decide to listen to the C and T teacher because he actually seems bareable.  
\--

Lunch is by far the best part of the day. You get into the lunch line and grab a bowl of mystery Mac-and-Cheese. Psych! Yeah... no. No way in hell you're going to eat that crap. You put the bowl back and exit the flow of poor souls who don't have a cooking mastermind as their best friend.

Apparently in your excitement to get to lunch you temporarily forgot that the week before at one of your and Karkat's sleepovers you had convinced him to make your lunch this year. You sit down at a table at the edge of the of the lunchroom. Across from you, Karkat has already started to unpack his and your lunch. Wow, that actually smells pretty good!

"Here. It's a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. And I put in some Betty Crocker Super-Moist chocolate cake for dessert." He gives you a serious look. What the fuck is wrong with him? Not only has he giving you a sandwich filled peanuts (and everyone knows you are allergic to peanuts and all their stupidass shit.), but he put in a cake. A cake from Betty motherFUCKING CROCKER! Your mortal enemy, the batter witch.

"Karkat. Vantas. I swear on my dad's manly cologne that if you even TRY to put that shit across from, near, or in my mouth I will make everything you drink taste like piss." You turn away and hiss at him. You feel ready to strife. Wait... What's strifing? Hmmm, you feel like you've heard the word but you can't remember where. Whatever! You turn back to him only to find him howling in laughter. What the hell?

You open the box to find a strange seafood-looking dish along with a what seems to be a Greek salad without the lettuce. Looking up at him confused he smirks, "Don't worry, no PB&J for you. This is ceviche- a seafood mix that has been cooked using the acid from lemon juice rather than the usual heat. And that," he points to the brightly colored side-dish. "is *traditional* Greek salad. Cucumber, tomato, red onion, feta cheese, kalamata olives, and olive oil." You gape at him. When the /fuck/ did he find time to do all this shit? And it looked so good too...

It was at this point in time you finally noticed that the rest of your friends had sit down next to you. Gamzee, Tavros, Nepeta, Equis, and Dave have joined you and are looking curiously at the rainbow of colors that your most bro-y bro obviously put all his heterosexual love for you into. "KAAAAARKKKKAAAAATTT~ thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I love it so much! Hehehe, you're the best!" Squealing like Nepeta- Karkat's step-sister, although they prefer to call each other "friend-that-lives-at-the-same-house".- after she created another new "ship"... Whatever that is.

Karkat just groans and opens his box, a tasty-looking pile of spaghetti "tastefully" smothered in a home-made looking red sauce. "Well?" He glares at you expectantly.  
"'Well' what Karkat?" You return his gaze with a much friendlier one.  
"Aren't you going to try it?" The short boy angrily starts to squint a slight blush starting to tint his olive cheeks. Fucking ADORABLE.  
"Oh, yeah! Hehe, sorry! I guess I got a bit distracted!" Waving your thoughts away, you stick your tongue out trying for an "oops! Tee-hee" look only to receive an unamused glare. You smell popcorn and realize that Dave is eating a bag of the buttered-up stuff like you two are one of those goddamn chick-flicks that he says he "ironically" likes. In fact, all of your friends are staring at the both of you. Your face starts to heat up.

"Okay, okay, geez Karkat! You look like I pulled one of my totally AWESOME pranks on you!" Hurriedly, you pick up the fork and stab some of the "se-vee-cheh?" Karkat made you. Shoving it in your mouth you begin to chew. Oh. Oh my... OH MY GOD! This is the best thing you have ever tasted in your natural life thus far. Your eyes widen and your eyebrows skyrocket. You don't realize you have been shoveling the food in your mouth until you choke on a scallop and stop to cough.

"Holy shit Karkat!! It's delicious! Thank you soooooo much!!!!" After catching your breath you smile ear to ear. Satisfied, Karkat smiles a bit at the praise and takes a bite of his food. They converse for a while with the rest of their friends, who have stopped seeing them through an imaginary theater screen. Gosh, you love the time you spend with your friends.

After hungrily finishing whatever the fuck Karkat made for you (seriously, how the hell do you say that?) you stare at your super-cute best heterosexual friend, who seems to be taking more time with his meal. You notice a bit of sauce on his cheek and get a good pranking idea. You get up and walk to the back of your shouty palhoncho. Before he has a chance to react, you lean down and remove the sauce from his cheek. The entire table's conversation screeches to a halt. Popcorn is tossed, drinks are spilled, eyes have been duck-taped open.

"What? It was bugging me! Besides, the look on your faces is priceless!! Best. Prank. EVER." The world seems to defrost itself. Waves and other hand-gestures are exchanged. Paired with light-hearted statements like "oh! It's just silly old John!" and "God. The one thing that I *didn't* miss. My bro's fucking pranks." along with one statement about how "lewd" you were being. Only Karkat remained frozen. The only thing that changed was the flame that creeped onto his face. "Woah, dude. Are you okay?"

"Egbert. I am one sexond- SECOND away from kissing- KICKING your teeth in." Karkat's voice has dropped to a hoarse whisper. What did he say? Something about kicking your teeth in... That doesn't sound like fun. So you sigh.  
"Sorry Karkat." You glumly say.  
" I guess I'll accept your apology then." You look up and see that /somehow/ you managed to elicit one of the Vantas boy's rare genuine smiles. How will you respond to this gesture John? GLOMP HIM.

Tackle-hugging him you smile your "derpy grin" and look down at him. In a very rare instance, after the look of shock he begins to smile back. When you get home you are so checking to make sure today wasn't a literal blue moon. After a few minutes he wriggles out of the hug and goes back to his normal irritated look. But you can still see a hint of pink in his otherwise caramel skin. He pulls out something wrapped in a red handkerchief. "Here fuckface. I made you dessert."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. That took almost a month and one chapter-guide to make so I hope you're happy! Also, I just now realized that when things get smutty. They are going to get SMUTTY. So now I decided to warn you that eventually, some chapters will just be porn with plot so be warned please. That's it! The only other thing I have to say is kudo and comment! ([^]w[^])/~ have a great day/night!!


	5. Pudding & Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's unfinished sorrrrrryyyyyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo you guys I'm sorry but I'm not finishing this fic. if you want i can tell you the rest of the story but I'm not writing it out ^w^"" sorry

“Are you going to find out what it is or what? Come on, get your fucking shit together, Egbert!” Fuck he’s slow, it’s giving me time to be an embarrassed tool and I really don’t appreciate it.  
“Oh yeah! Heheh, sorry Karkat!” John slowly unwraps the red cloth you used to wrap the container. He begins to whistle too. Oh my FUCKING god this is completely insufferable. WHY THE FUCK IS IT TAKING SO LONG?! At this point you can feel the heat radiating off your face. John looks up at you after staring intently at the tinted glass container. “Uh, Karkat? are you okay?” He questions. You’re too busy freaking out to answer him.

It’s a friendly thing to do. It’s a friendly thing to do. It is a FUCKING friendly thing to do. It is a friendly thing to do, right? Oh god, oh god. There is a reasonable explanation as to why you’re like this. You mean, you’ve cooked and baked for him many times before yeah, since sixth fucking grade. But come on, this is the first time you have ever given him dessert in public. Giving desserts to your special someone is a quite intimate thing after all! What, pfft no, you didn't learn this from secretly watching all those romantic-comedy anime’s your soon-to-be stepsister Nepeta -although you prefer to call each other cat-sister and crab-brother- watches all the time of which you most definitely hate. That definitely isn't a thing, nope!

You’re getting sidetracked, back to your current situation. Damn author getting in the way all the time. You then realize you have been sitting there for the past minute doing nothing but stare intently at the wood of your table. “I’m just peachy, now open the damn thing before the bell rings you slow-ass fucking turtle.” This is really getting to you, not only are you blushing, but you’re sweating now too! Ugh, you feel like Equis, and no one should ever feel like Equis, you wouldn't even wish it upon Strider, who has been stealing Gamzee’s popcorn to watch you for the past few minutes. You can see the smug smile on his face, and you can feel his dumb shade-covered eyes looking into your soul.

Gamzee takes a break from glowering at Dave just long enough to cheerfully comment, “Turtles are just the cutest little motherfuckers. With their tiny shells and motherfuckin’ happy little attitudes. Mindin’ their own business, swimmin’ along happily and chillin’ everywhere. Motherfuckin’ miracles right there my brother.” He continues to gush, abandoning his popcorn and ‘getting his chat on’ with his crippled boyfriend next to him also intrigued by the wonderful nature of turtles.

While John continues to just chuckle awkwardly and slowly move to *eventually* open his damn dessert you decide to look at the other blithering, pubescent, fucknuts present. There aren’t too many people, thought that isn't surprising. Many of your friends won’t be here until tomorrow. These people include, Jade, Aradia, Terezi, Vriska, Eridan and Rose. Sollux is probably fucking around in the computer room and giving random assholes viruses. Yeah, he already passed both high school and college. Stupid overachieving prick.

Continuing the line-up you see Feferi enter the lunchroom wearing her normal -and by normal you mean completely expensive and fancy- clothing with an embroidered towel slung around her neck. It was very clear where she had been minutes before- swimming it the school pool. Kanaya’s probably in the drama room making outfits for herself and her girlfriend Rose. She functions as your other best friend and life-line as well as the only other person that knows about your undeniably huge crush on Egbert. Speaking of Egbert, “HOLY CRAP KARKAT!! Is this what I think it is?” Well screw my scissors he’s finally opened his box.

“Yes, Egbert. Yes it is- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST JOHN CALM DOWN! YOU’RE GOING TO CHOKE!” The love of your life is currently shoving the homemade rice pudding into his pie-hole and you can’t tell if he’s actually chewing and you’re kinda terrified and oh god he’s coughing quick help him! You start patting him on the back in hopes of doing whatever the bloody hell that’s supposed to help with. It takes a while but eventually the coughing stops and you breathe a sigh of relief. “Goddamn Egbert, be more careful. Your idea of foresight is so lacking I think it must be blind! I mean really, what would your grave say if you had died from this? probably something really stupid like ‘Everything was alright until he ate sweets’ or ‘Here lies a stupid puddle-bouncing, belch-squealing, idiot of a humanoid life form far too stupid to actually be a human who though it was a good idea to inhale something he normally doesn't even like all in one foul wind like he had stupid fucking windy powers.’ What would your dad say? He probably wouldn't make sweets for a day!! And, and-”

“Whoa Karkat, calm down! I’m sorry, I was just really excited. I’ll try not to be as excited in the future? Just chill, your face is completely red and your eyes look like they’re going to pop out of your face! Oh come on, don't look at me like that. Your scowl is completely unwarranted.” John is trying to calm you down and you are having none of it. You start to turn away when you realize he’s gone to squeezing the air out of you and whispering ‘thank you’ warranting the blood to rush right back to your face.

You should probably explain why rice pudding of all things is such a big deal. Back a long, long time ago when you had just gotten over hating John transitioning quite abruptly into thinking about him all the time -and eventually realizing you were head-over-heels, irreversibly in love with him- you had your first sleepover. Ever. He was coming over to your house so you had convinced Nepeta and her older sister Meulin to go out and play Kitties at Prospit Park which was close to your house. You had also somehow managed to find a ton of novels on world customs of the world to keep your older brother Kankri occupied. And, being the dumb kid you were you wanted to make a good impression. How? Well by making rice pudding from scratch of course! What were you thinking? Anyways, you had been stressing the entire process and by the time you had ten minutes left if you even saw anyone try to get a glass of water you would glower at them until they backed away like you were John’s cousin’s dog before he was fed. What was his name again? Check? Brendan? Ah, who gives a shit.

When the doorbell rang ten minutes later you remember you nearly pissed yourself in surprise. You had only just finished the last part of the terribly stressful bullshit of making seemingly simple rice goddamn pudding. You rushed to the door and found the dorky asshole fidgeting like an adorable prickwad. Upon seeing the boy your face had gone completely red if you are recalling correctly. After you invited him inside -not before heavily insulting his intelligence and passing off your blush as the temperature of the kitchen, perfectly segueing into your “stupid and arbitrary, repulsive, first sleepover present.” Making your way into the kitchen you take deep breaths to calm yourself.


End file.
